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brianhelge.com [blog]

Open Letter to I-80 Drivers

Dec 17, 2007
Dear fellow commuters,

It seems that we drive together every morning at the same time. I see the same "BUDZ BUG" vanity plate on the gray VW, the same bright yellow H3 Hummer and the same lady who's using her eyelash curler while swerving between the two right lanes every morning. So why, please tell me why, do we have to come to a stop EVERY SINGLE TIME THERE IS A CAR ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?

Seriously. We've seen flashing lights on the tops of police cars before in our lives. We don't have to come to a screeching halt and try to read the details of the ticket they are receiving. JUST KEEP DRIVING! You don't know that person, and it's not going to matter if you slow down to see what they look like. It's not like you're going to meet up and catch eyes at the super market the next day. Move over a little bit, give the officer some room, and KEEP YOUR FOOT ON THE PEDAL TO THE RIGHT.

EVERY DAY THIS HAPPENS, AND EVERY DAY SOME PERSON STARTS THE CHAIN REACTION OF SLOWING EVERYONE ELSE'S DAY DOWN. STOP IT! KEEP DRIVING! SERIOUSLY. KEEP DRIVING!

Wait. Why do I smell toast? Uh oh...

having ... heart ... probl ...

unghhhhh ... 8ash;dflhj398;afsdf .........

(THUD)

Sincerely,
Brian,
Heaven
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